Sunday, November 25, 2007

Guys and their Desperation

Pre Post Script: Desperation is superlative of the word desperate[:P]

Motivation for this post:
I saw a post by mercurialmind titled "What not to do when you are desperate about having a girl friend !!!!!!!!!!!!!!". A perfect post which reminded me of my close friend "V" from school and his toota poota love stories(or desperate encounters rather).....which range from school to college to work place to trains and movie halls!

http://mercurial-mind.blogspot.com
/2007/11/what-not-to-do-when-you-are-desperate.html

Warning:
Content of this post may be manipulated and exaggerated to create curiosity and add masala to the post....how ever the story is a real one.....

"The Insane Encounters and Dirty Desperations"

My friend "V" suffers from inferiority complex that girls can never find him great!...Dunno exactly from which age it started.....

However time mite not permit to elaborate all his encounters but I shall put forth one of his most recent ones....

Train from Pune to Hyderabad:
"V" is all set to reach his home town n is desperately looking at the reservation chart to see if there is a girl on any berth near by..... Luck favors him most of the time but destiny ruins it for him[:D]

He sat down and a little while later, there was indeed a girl in front of his berth....excited....energized and optimistic my friend became....everybody around in the compartment were discussing some "current affairs" and my great friend also joins in a while.... the girl is seen handling all the men and their flirting very well and "V" is impressed with her....waaah kya reason hai[:P]....

Now....everybody else is asleep and this idiot puts all the effort to get the top berth to be adjacent to her berth!....everybody is asleep is what he thot so...the girl started taking...what do u do and where do stay n other very imp questions[;)].... No its not "are u on orkut" "give me ur mail id"..... The girl(oh yes the girl it is) asked him for his mobile number....c'mon all u guys reading this post....the first things u shall say is....c'mon he is bluffing or ur lying.....don't be jealous.... be calm n accept reality[:P].....Numbers exchanged and talks continued...for something abt 5 hours.....

My friend "V" is here to prep for CAT for the last two weeks since he is unable to get the flow n concentration in pune.....so he is all worried(or rather cursing his luck) that this girl happened at the wrong moment.... she called n he spoke for an hour or so....she met him and they planned movie....it flopped since her close friend got stuck with some problem n she had to leave....yes, they met again n again....nothing much happened.... After few days "V" stopped taking her calls....cut her calls or phone on silent....and final stage 'switched off' too!!....."she is a psycho" "she expects me to talk for hours like I have no other work" "She is mad woman n expects me to meet her everyday!"

One fine day,then went to some unusual place to eat and "V" hated her attitude and her extra flirting(as he calls it).... but she was good company for she blabbered for hours together....neither of them said anything...CAT was coming closer...just a week left and "V" completely avoided her calls talks and everything to concentrate on his exam better....one things that "V" could not digest is the fact that the girl did not know what CAT and IIMs are!!.....Exam went fine and girl went out of his mind.... IIM cut offs cleared and girl completely cut out from his life!!....

Now now, how many of you thought this is a very unfair story or sad ending.... I assure you that this friend of mine is desperate about girls beyond bounds and it just not possible that he let goes any girl that comes his way....he terms his poor handling to being a looser and not able to make most out of his luck....

Well I beg to differ toh...Having know him for years and still not able to comprehend him completely....he is anything but looser and lucky[;D]....For him, a girl who he can easily get to is a strict no-no....he always let go girls who easily gave in for him!!.... He tries hard to get to know all the beautiful pune girls and even gets close to most of them...but never moves an inch beyond that despoism(another synonym for strong desperateness)..... Something is terribly right about him sometimes for he lets go all of them without second thoughts!....

Point is most of the guys(most of them I tell you)(Most of them here implies most of the men I know of and not generalized stmnt[;)])........ get desperate and even try hard to get closer at diff levels with girls.....from common frend to frend to close frend to best frend to bf to husband.....but their ego rules..... their principles matter....they have some ethics and morals at some level of their despoism....and that drive sense into them at some point when they are not blind anymore!!

I will edit this post once again....some urgent work...posting it for basic comments n reviews!!....

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Chick Chick Chickens!

This is the story of a chicken called chikki who is in a cage at the chicken shop near my house...
(The word chicken has been deliberately used in place of hen all thru the post for my own satisfaction)

Motivation for the musings:
Every day I walk past the butcher's shop near the bus stop at ramnagar. I see the chickens making hell lot of noise when the butcher is trying to get hold of them....other wise they are calm n serene....like the ocean which has so many violent things going on inside.... my attempt is to explore the chicken's side of story.....

story:
Chikki as a baby:
Mommy why is tht we are being fed good food but restricted to cages?....why is it tht i cant be independent like the other hens and eat food available on roads n farms....

Chikki's Mom: no my dear daughter....we are born with a purpose....to serve man kind with chicken delicacies and eggs for the omelette which helps all the bachelor boys n girls to have a proper meal.... we arent like any other chicken....we are the army chicken....we lay our lives in front of the humans when times comes to sacrifice our lives.... we serve the purpose of biological cycle and we should respect it....

Chikki: But mommy....didn't daddy loose his life like this...didnt tht old bald head man kill him in front of us....do we have to see our family die!!....how fair is it for god?.... I dont want to be in the cage...i want a free life n roam around the city...I wanna see charminar and eat grains on the road....Its my life time wish.... I will do it mommy.,..I will do it!

Chikki Mom:(wiping a tear from her eye).... Tu bilkul apne baap pe gaya hai!.... feel happy tht we are born for a purpose and we are serving it....Many humans out there still dunno their purpose of life n keep reading books on philosophy to know their purpose.... our lives are much simpler beta.....

Chikki: To hell with mommy and her old ways of thinking....this old baldy will have a hell of time killing me....I should not be any other chicken in his shop....I am special.... and I will prove it....

One day later:

The butcher gets a big deal for a birthday party and plans to kill around 10 chicken for it.... fortunate or unfortunate....chikki(tho young) is chosen along with her mom and few of her family members....they are all shifted to a new cage n dumped into a truck.....Chikki is all excited with this change in her routine n boring life....but chikki's mom starts praying and chants some vedic mantras....

Chikki: Mom what are u recanting?

Chikki's Mom: Beta, I am doin some meditation and yoga to ease me of pain and suffering when I die.... U shud also do it....our end is near....we will all die in a while....(wipes a tear from her eye)

The butcher comes to the birthday bash and his brother-in-law who runs a catering service is seen there.... he hands over the chickens to the caterer and runs along on his way since his beautiful wife is pregnant with a baby girl[oh are u already getting to where I am getting]....(btw scanning in illegal in India so it cannot be said tht its a baby girl before she is born.... but the family wanted a girl...yes yes they are revolutionary parents who want girl instead of boy[:D])

The chicken are taken form the cage and killed one by one....since chikki is the smallest of all...the caterer kills all the other chicken and finally ends up with chikki....chikki starts fuming up with rage seeing her mother die and shouts on top of his voice...makes weird noises and flaps its little wings as hard as it can.... it tries to free itself from the caterer's hand but fails miserably at it.... The caterer sighs and wipes his sweat from the brow as he kills chikki....

In Gandhi Govt Hospital:

The butcher's wife is all sweating and finally lets out one big sigh and drops unconscious....a little while later.... the doctor is cleaning blood off a baby girl...the butcher runs in and is all happy....they look at her sharp nose like tht of a chicken and decide to name her chikki[;)].....

Now chikki grows up to be a girl with all good manners and proper education.... but she is no ordinary child....he has visions....visions tht she went to charminar and buying grains from the road side vendor!.... her parents rub it off as child fantasies but chikki knows tht its not just a dream....

As chikki grows up and becomes a 10 year old child....her dad takes her to his shop and begins on his work...the moment chikki saw the chicken struggle and whine in pain...something happens!!....she instinctively jumps with happiness and asks her dad to keep teh chickens whining for some more time....the butcher is puzzled but doesn't want to disappoint his daughter n keep playing with the chicken to make then shout n whine in pain n agony....

He then kills the chicken and starts to parcel it for a customer.... chikki stops her dad....why!!

Chikki: Dad!...this chicken had chikungunya....dont give it to customers.....
Dad: how do you know it beti?....
Chikki: I heard it talk to the other chicken....believe me daddy....lets not sell this chicken to anyone....
Customer: what is this bhayya!!....I am not taking any of this chicken with me now....ur own daughter says some shit that this chicken is not good...what kind of business do you run!!....

......(To be continued)